- Second chance? ♥
- December 31st, 2008
If you're come to here, it's either you're willing to give me a chance or ... you happen to stumble here that's all. Personally I prefer my former guess, of course.
To be honest, I've not been a good friend in LJ at all. If i were to rate myself, I'm probably the worst friend you could have in LJ. I admit I have been gone for the past 2/3 months for my weird obsessive compulsive disorder -it's better not to ask *wink*. And I thought to myself last night, of all of the friends I'd lost in the past 3 years. RL friends, online friends, gaming friends, etc. It happened when I stop talking to them a day, a month, and then a year. And eventually, I lost contact with them permanently. It's a habit I tried so, so hard to get away, but I always fail to do so... I don't know if its because of my stubborness to make the 1st move or they're just aren't that important to me. Anyway, that doesn't matter anymore.
Then, I realized I'm going through this again, this time to you all, my f-list. I feel myself losing the grasp in people, at the edge where one day, I might lose all of you again. I know I'd never talk much to you girls, I'm not really of a online conversationer myself. At times, I get freaked out with MSN conversations because ... I was afraid if I might deemed dull, boring or uninteresting to you. Yeah, by now you might have figured that I'm not exactly big on confidence as well. I think I'm more confident in RL than in online world.
But one of the reasons I'm shifting over from my previous user was because... I just wanted to distance myself from the online world where most of the people know me by that name. It can be frustrating when people try to contact me through LJ, which is sorta my get-away place from my blogging/RL world. Moreover, I feel like starting over, a fresh taste for the new year, and more important to redeem myself as a friend. Again.
This is strictly going to be a friends-only journal where I'll try to make it up to you f-list by ... idk, try to spend more time reading your posts, genuinely caring for you f-list (not that I wasn't genuine last time)... Oh god, this is so cheesy I want to dig a hole and hide in it or something ;_____;
Oh and, please don't tell me I shouldn't have left lolly and came here instead, etc etc. It's just a choice I want to make, that's all. AND, if one day I lost myself somewhere or missing for a long time, please give a good kick or a wake-up call yeah? ♥
Okay.. I'm done here. It's up to you if you want to be-friend me back. I'd understand if you don't but it would be lovely if you would, of course :) (<< I'd always hated this cheesy pervert smiley)
*hides in hole*
OH AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, will you.. leave me your email address too? So I can spazz fest with you girls. Wanted to do this long ago, but I was too ... idk.. stupid to take the chance. ♥